little valentine story

Valentine's Day... a charming little holiday, right? Not really. I mean, the expectations have gotten so ridiculous. Doesn't it seem like there's a lot of anxiety and disappointment attached to this holiday? Poor guys, if they don't show up with something original, (or something at all) into the dog house they go!

A few years ago, my husband brought me a box of chocolates, and I was more than a little disappointed.

Before you judge, let's break this little Valentine story down...

1. I don't like chocolate.

(weird, but true)

2. Even if I liked chocolate, Valentine's Day chocolates are disgusting... like what the hell is in them, etc.

3. "Box of chocolates"... so cheesy. Who does he think I am, Forrest Gump? I would rather get nothing and a simple, "I didn't want to get you a cheesy box of chocolates." I'd be thrilled..

4. I secretly wondered when he showed up with the box of chocolates, (knowing that he knows that I don't like chocolate, and surely he wouldn't get me a box of chocolates unless there might be a trick involved) if possibly, there might be a special surprise in one of the little sections inside the box... you know a piece of jewelry delicately nestled amidst the bite-sized chocolates... Earth to Jan. There was no nestling. There were no surprises. (I do this on occasion... dream up extravagant gift ideas to myself.)

5. Upon my show of disgust, once I realized there were no hidden gifts involved, my children, shocked that I was not overwhelmed with delight over the box of chocolates, made it crystal clear they considered me the meanest wife ever to walk the earth. "MOM!" they said, "Dad got you a box of chocolates! Why are you being so mean?" Help me Lord.

6. Do we really need to go any further? I think not.

Let's move on to some pretty Valentine-ish images...


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